Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Tonight I must get some zZzZs..

Found a boxpring out by the road. Kinda trashy, but hey, at least now I have a real bed. Gotta make some use of it. Can't stay up and zombitize tonight. Tomorrow stuff is happening. Gotta leave my crack-computer behind and go get my other fix. My fix of colors and music and happy people. To the land of the PLUR we go. Skippy dee doOoOoo.. the place where the rainbow is always brighter. People dress in pretty colors and dance under the lights and everyone is happy.

...but no one notices that bad-tripper in the corner. All alone, by himself, he sits around and watches the happy people dance. He watches, and envies, and he sits all alone. No one has brought him into the happy circle. No one has welcomed him. No one has even noticed he exsists. So he sits there and watches them as they dance and drink and be merry.

...the happy people cheer as the d.j. turns up the bass. Oh my, what a feeling of joy and ecstasy. The music plays on, and the room gets a feeling of total connection. Everyone in the room is as one. But wait...

...what's this? Someone in the room is not connected. The absence of someone's presence becomes suddenly so clear. The crowd looks around for this missing soul. And then they see him. He's sitting over there, on a lonely little corner of the couch. Sitting there are alone. Sitting and watching them, with no sign of amusement or pleasure in his eyes. A girl walks over to him and takes his hand, and she speaks for the whole room as she says, "we would love it if you would come and dance with us."

...suddenly the lonely little bad-tripper smiles and says "I would love to." He gets up on his feet, and now, the lonely little bad-tripper is a lonely little bad-tripper no more. He follows the girl to the floor and joins in as everyone starts dancing and cheering. The d.j. turns up the bass again. Oh my, what a feeling of ecstasy!!! What a complete sensation of PLUR!!!

Not again...

Stayed up all fuck'n night, glued to the screen that holds me prisinor! Why can't I break free? This stupid machine is heroin.. I just can't seem to get off it. At least the conversation was worth my time. Or seemed like. Can't even get a few winks in now.. gotta be somewhere in a few hours. Why, oh why does this thing keep me glued like sticky paste? Let me go... I don't want to be a pc zombie again!!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The Rainbow is Black!!

Met the coolest person. Why does she want to talk to me? Can't she see that I'm nobody. Do I even exsist? God, sometimes I really can't tell. I mean, it feels like I'm here.. but it feels like I'm not. Do people see right through me? Uh oh, gotta confirm exsistence. Fading into the grey. Soon there will be nothing left but black. Darkness that overpowers the colors of the rainbow.

...The rainbow. What's on the other side? Why are people always singing about it. What could be there that's so great? Is it because this world is so cold and grey that they fantasize about a brighter one? What if this is the brighter side of the rainbow? Maybe the other side is just black. That's why we see the colors from where we stand.

...Colors. Are they just an illusion? How can the rainbow have so many colors when we live in such a morbid place? Doesn't it realize that no one gives a fuck? Show us all the colors you want, but everyone knows that when you mix them all together, you get black! Try to fool me, stupid rainbow, but I know better!

Who the fuck am I??

What makes me worthy of being here? Who decided to put me on this planet anyway? How come I never had any choice in the matter? Shouldn't I have had some say on whether or not I wanted to be here? Would it have made a difference? No one ever tells you when you start off life that there will be so many complications. That things can get so hard. Life is hard. It's a train wreck waiting to happen. Ee3ek.. save me from the train!! It's in my head... trampling my brain, driving me crazy with the constant tch tch tch and the WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! Please make it stop! Would someone tell the world that I'm not supposed to be here?

Won't someone drag me out of here?

Why was I born into such a miserable, forsaken town? What to do, but log on and get away.. travel the world though a network of microfibres. This net is like crack.. I can't stop coming back.